Currently Angry
Up until now, I have tried to keep this blog positive by sharing the good things and leaving out the bad things. I must say that overall I have a positive impression of
Malta and the Maltese, and I am quite happy here. But today I am feeling frustrated, so I will now use the blog to vent and complain.
My current frustration stems from my attempts at carrying out conversations in Maltese. I have written about this before, but my irritation about this has reached a boiling point. Here I am making a big effort to actually learn and use the national language, something which, let me point out again, many foreigners do not bother to do. And what do I get in return? I get treated like a circus animal who just juggled a few balls, and/or there is an exaggerated surprise… and then I get spoken to in English for the rest of the conversation.
Just yesterday I asked someone how old her grandson is, and the answer was “oh you understand Maltese?” which was then followed by a long explanation about how Maltese is so difficult (does she realise how hard it is to learn English?) and on to life in Malta and why she would have moved overseas. I never got an answer to my question.
A few weeks ago we were at a social gathering, and I participated in the conversation for well over an hour. I was replying to comments made (in English, but obviously I was understanding) and we got into some heated debates. Then I say is-sena t-tajba (happy new year) to the hostess on the way out the door, and she makes this little squeal like I just pulled rabbit out of a hat. I could not believe it and I got quite irritated. I wanted to yell out ”I have been following your conversation for AN HOUR and answering you, did you not notice?” but of course I remained politely silent. Someone else then said to me, in English, ”oh, next time I’ll speak to you in Maltese!” Why next time, why not start then?
I know what the Maltese will say: that they find it impolite to speak to foreigners in Maltese. Frankly, I am tired of hearing that excuse. Because it might seem impolite to you, but let me tell you how it feels like to a foreigner trying to learn your language and integrate into your society. It comes across as extremely unwelcoming. The message is: “do not learn our language, do not try to integrate into our society, do not try to join in our conversations.”
Currently, this is getting me so upset that I do not even want to try any more. I am glad that I can read and understand a good amount of Maltese, so that I can keep up with signs, newspapers, and conversations when I need to. I will continue to learn it for my own benefit. But if my efforts are not appreciated, then I will not make an effort. From now on, I think I will speak only English. Speaking Maltese seems pointless and a waste of everyone’s time, starting with my own.
Grrrr!
