My New Life in Malta

I am back with my phone card. And I forgot a point I wanted to make in that last entry: all of these pre-paid cards are made of plastic, and are themselves sold in a plastic wrapping. Just imagine the amount of waste that piles up daily from these little cards.

Also I tried to get my hair cut, but was told I cannot have an appointment until next Tuesday. I was SHOCKED! Who plans haircuts six days in advance???

Here are some thoughts on telecommunications in Malta.

MOBILE PHONES: It is rather expensive to call a mobile. In fact, it is more expensive than it is to call many overseas numbers! I can call most of western Europe and North America for a fraction of the cost of calling a Maltese mobile number. As a result, people tend to keep phone calls to mobile numbers as short as possible. This is why SMS (text messages) are so popular here. You can send a lot of those and cover the main points of a conversation for only a few cents.

On the flip side, receiving calls on a mobile phone is FREE! As a result, just about every Maltese and his mother (and for that matter, his uncle, cousin, wife, grandson) has his or her very own mobile phone. It is almost unheard of these days not to have one. Even businesses will almost always list a mobile number in addition to a land line (which can be easily distinguished by their prefix). This can lead to some humorous extremes. I noticed the other day that the egg packaging lists the name and address of the farm, including a mobile number. I really thought long and hard as to WHY this was necessary. Is there such a thing as an egg emergency? When would I be in such an incredible rush to find the egg farmer that I would need to ring him or her on a mobile? I still cannot find an answer.

In order to pay for the use of your mobile phone, most people use the pre-paid system. You buy a so-called "top up" card and recharge your account, and then you can talk and/or text away until you run out of credit. Then you top up again. The nice thing about this system is that it helps to control your spending (which could easily get out of hand with the high prices of mobile calls), and that there are no annoying bills to deal with. The "bad" side is that since there are no bills, you never know exactly where your money is going, only that you have used it up.

LAND LINES: Due to the above-mentioned high price of mobile calls, people try to call from and to land lines whenever possible. It is now possible to use the pre-paid system on land lines as well, and we have been trying it out. Again, it is nice not to have to worry about paying bills. However, last night I was in the middle of an overseas phone call to my friends Juan Carlos and Victor when a little recording came on saying "thirty seconds remaining..."  It had been nearly a month since we topped-up the land line, and it looks like the credit was running low. How courteous of Maltacom to give me such advance warning as THIRTY SECONDS! The conversation had to be cut short. This morning I did not make it to the store to get a top-up card, so now I am sitting around, waiting for the siesta hour to end so I can go to the store and then use the phone once again.

Which reminds me, it is 4:11pm, the stores must be opening right now!

M and I were enjoying a leisurely weekend breakfast when it came up that I had not yet gone to the rooftop of our building. Amazing, that in all this time I had not made it up there. So up we went for what I thought would be a five minute visit. Little did I know that the roof is the building's social central!

First we enjoyed the views of the sea. While the view of the Mediterranean from our windows is now blocked by that new luxury hotel nearby, from up on the roof there is still a clear line of sight to the blue waters. There is also clearer detail of the buildings around. It is amazing what a slight difference in height will do! I wonder if very tall people experience the world noticeably differently than I do.

All of a sudden a neighbour showed up, and involved us into a conversation about satellite dishes and aerial antennae. They are found all over the rooftop, and the residents would like to get rid of them because they are unsightly. He went on to sing the praises of the one central dish that has been installed, and from which we can all obtain our television channels. Too bad we already have a one-year contract with our television dish, but maybe in a few months...

Then another neighbour showed up to hang her washing. Another couple were there too. One overheard us and said that somebody had sneaked up onto the roof and actually stolen his satellite dish. The washing lady then said that somebody went into ther house and stole chicken breasts that she was about to cook. The conversation was very lively, and I could barely keep up, especially since it was all over the place! However, after everyone had gone I asked M if I had understood all the major points, and I had! He filled in the bits that I missed.

M then mentioned that there was a Maltese play named "Sunday on the Roof" which shows how the rooftop has become the social networking place of the modern buildings. Quite fascinating, and from what I saw, very true!

Coming back down, the view from our windows seemed very... low. I think I will go up on the roof regularly from now on. And do not worry about those stealing incidents mentioned. It should be pretty safe, now that we got a new and functional lock on the building's main door.

After two and a half months of carefully studying the Maltese road system as a passenger, today I took the big step. Put on my seat-belt, arranged the mirror, and, with M as my co-pilot, drove onto the real life traffic of Regional Road, our local highway. I was a bit nervous. After many years of driving experience, I would have to say that I am quite a good driver. I only had a minor accident way way way back when I first obtained my licence, and in all these years I have never once received a ticket for any kind of traffic violation. However, there were a few obstacles to overcome.

First, driving on the left side of the road. My experience with this is very minimal. I once drove in England, but all two hours were spent on a major highway. I spent 99% of that time going forward with no stopping nor turning.

Second, driving with a manual transmission. While I know how to do it, I am not an expert at it, mostly through lack of practice. Although, the last time I drove a manual car back in July I did quite well. After a little while, I was driving very smoothly. My friend and blog-reader K can attest to this. 

Third, the narrow Maltese roads. Not a big problem per se, but when added to the two points above, it can be a bit daunting.

Things went a little better than I expected. I had a lot of trouble with the lane, and M kept saying that I was too far over to the left just about every 5 seconds. The gears also gave me some trouble, particularly as I had to pay attention to so many new things at one time. The narrow roads turned out well, and I did not scrape sides with any on-coming vehicles. I even parked in the crowded supermarket parking lot!

But right before I accomplished that last bit, a man crossed in front of the car. M tells me, "that man is the Minister of Justice and Home Affairs, so you may not want to hit him."  I looked over to see if he was serious. "Really!" he stressed. Just to be safe, I made sure he had walked out of my reach before I pulled in sloooowly to the narrow parking space.

Apologies for the long break. I have had the most terrible case of writer's block, and have simply been scratching my head trying to think up writing ideas. I suppose this means I am getting so settled in my new home, that I no longer find many new things unusual. Ha ha!

I was going to write about how great it is to have such lovely weather, while most of my friends in the northern hemisphere are beginning to struggle with winter or its beginnings. But just now I went out and got caught in the rain. Not only rain, but an incredible gust of WIND came out of nowhere. My poor umbrella has seen its last day. We ventured on, broken-umbrella and I, through the wind and rain and tried not to slip on the way home. I am now in dry clothes, and noting that the rain stopped the moment I came back inside. Some days are just like this.

I have been having a bit of what some would call homesickness. Except in my case, I am not exactly sure where home is because I lived in many places. And it is not exactly streets and buildings of a city that I miss, but my family and close friends. They, too, are spread out throughout the world now, so I cannot point to a specific place. It has not been terrible, but I have been a bit nostalgic. It is bound to happen when one moves to a new country, and I was expecting it sooner or later. I also know from experience that it will pass. Much like a cold or a stomach ache.

On a happier note, last night I was at a friend's birthday party and I got to meet Ivan's wife Mandy. It was my first time meeting a reader of my blog, and a couple of other people there said they have been reading as well. I was a bit embarassed, as I am not used to being such a "public figure" but it was indeed flattering to know that people are enjoying my writing and even recommending it to friends!

Mandy and I had a conversation in Maltese, and I understood everything she said even if I stumbled a little in my replies. But the Maltese are always throwing English phrases in their conversations so I will use that as my excuse. Mandy then said that she felt a bit impolite when talking Maltese to a foreigner. Once again, I am surprised by this, as it is not the first time I hear it. I stress again that Malta is the only country I have been to where the locals are embarassed/disinclined to speak their own language to foreigners. In most other places people expect (and in some cases demand) that it should be the foreigners who learn the language.

Il-lejl it-tajjeb (good night) to all!

One of the things in the world that really annoy me is the media's way to twist certain "facts" and paint pictures that at some point just become untrue. I will not get into specific examples, because another thing that bothers me is people who are always making political points, but instead I offer a humorous example related to Malta.

This morning I got an e-mail from my friend Carmina, forwarding the latest findings that the Maltese are the shortest and fattest amongst all EU countries: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6148456.stm . It basically says that most average Europeans are overweight, with the exception of a few countries. The French, Italians, Poles, Austrians and Dutch seem to keep "trim" according to this article. Please note that these countries are only *just below* the cut-off for their definition of overweight. In fact, if you look at the numbers, the BMI (body mass index) is very similar, differing by just a few hundredths of a point. Sadly, the Maltese do top the list by a whole point, so it does seem like in this case there is a substantial difference.

A few months ago, there was an article in the Washington Post about illegal immigration to Malta. (I cannot link to it, as it is now considered too old by their website). It had some choice quotes from Maltese people which made it seem like nobody wants any foreigners here, and how they wish they would all leave. They even interviewed the leader of some anti-immigration group. That day I got a few e-mails as well from friends, concerned that I was about to move to a country that was so xenophobic! Some asked if they would put me in a detention center! However, I knew better. It is the media playing their tricks, I told them. Notice that they ONLY interviewed people who had *extreme* anti-foreigner views. It is hardly a representative sample.

And last month, Malta was in the "international" news because a Gozitan priest was involved in molestation claims by a US politician. More wonderful articles were printed, painting the "Malese Islands" as a place that produces shady priests who molest young boys. One even said that "Maltese Islanders" were in full support of the priest.

What can we learn from all of this, boys and girls? Obviously, Malta is a country of short and overweight xenophobic perverts!! I am glad that I read the news every day and that I am so well informed about this horrible country. I better stay away from those Maltese Islanders as well. They might try to molest me, while standing on a chair, before throwing me out of the detention center and putting me in a boat back to Libya.

I think we should pass a UN resolution condemning Malta.

I went to Valletta yesterday to meet a friend. He had suggested we have ice cream at Caffè Cordina, a coffee shop dating from the 19th century that to this day remains a popular establishment in the capital. However, I had a craving for qagħaq tal-għasel (pronounced AH-ah tal AH-sel) which are Maltese honey rings. They are filled with treacle (molasses) and they are yummy, even for someone like me who normally does not like sweets very much. So we headed over to Camilleri's, a sweets and pastry shop that makes some of the best qagħaq. We got there to find that it was closed. GRRR, it was still siesta time. I have still not gotten used to the shops closing in the middle of the day. It was 3:45pm, so we stayed put for the next 15 minutes until the magical 4:00pm re-opening time.

As we waited, I noticed a small regiment of soldiers. There are government buildings all over Valletta, so someone important must have been around. Then I saw that the soldiers were from the "Revenue Security Corps", as displayed  prominently on their bullet-proof vests. They were wielding huge machine guns. I was fascinated by the idea of the tax police going around with huge guns. It was like watching an action film. Were they staking someone out? Was there a "bad" Maltese citizen in that building who had not paid his taxes in years? One of the soldiers noticed me staring, so he stared back implying that I was looking very suspicious. He put both hands on his rifle. Oh-oh...

You see, I have bad tendency to stare at people. Perhaps because as a child I did not know the concept. (Did you know there is no word for "staring" in Spanish? I guess it illustrates a cultural difference with the Anglo-Saxon world.) Perhaps because I just like to observe the world around me, and particularly people. I often forget that they can see me looking, and that most people are uncomfortable by that.

So, here I thought the soldier was getting angry at me. Did I mention he had a huge machine gun? It was a bit intimidating. I just imagine the headlines: "Foreigner arrested in front of sweet shop. Was spying against the police."  I looked away and turned my attention to the shop's window display and concentrated on the conversation I was having. But then I just had to keep looking. They were going in and out of the building. Something was going on.

At 4:00pm, stores opened, doors went up, lights came on. It was like midnight in the Cinderella story, except everything was coming back to life. We marched in and got our snack. Remind me to stop buying qagħaq. I wind up wolfing down half the ring in 5 minutes and then my stomach protests.

Coincidentally, I read this morning that the Revenue Security Corps is to be disbanded and merged with the regular Armed Forces of Malta. I suppose I saw history in the making.

Maltese television is... unique. Besides all the usual news shows, talk shows, quiz shows, daytime dramas, cooking shows, children's shows, etc. (actually it is all quite impressive for such a small population) there are also some programs which are a bit unusual.

There is one show about fat people living in a house. Yes, it is reality TV Maltese-style. Basically, from what I have figured out, several overweight individuals are living in a house and trying to lose weight. Every week someone gets voted off the show. Except, this is not "Big Brother" or "Survivor" or any of the myriad reality shows that are now polluting the airwaves. Basically there is a camera set up and it just broadcasts, unedited. If you ever watched a reality show and thought you were getting the day-to-day lives of strangers, think again. I have now realised, and greatly appreciate, the immense amount of effort and the many hours of EDITING that goes into this type of program. This show looks like your teenage neighbour bought a camera and left it running in the living room just for fun. The sound quality is terrible, and the conversations go on and on and on.

The idea is good. The fact that it is a Maltese cast is good too. But we really could do with a more condensed version of affairs, and a few microphones.

It gets better. The other day I was at the gym (how ironic) and this show was on the television sets near the treadmills. There was footage of some of the cast members walking. Yes, walking. I guess it was a form of exercise. However, there was no music added, no shots edited out. Just people walking along the street, with the sound of the passing cars. Just. So. Fascinating. To. Watch.

It gets even better: this show plays on the educational channel.

I turned my attention to the main broadcaster. A locally-produced documentary about the Co-Cathedral of St. John in Valletta. Very interesting and well made, with high technical standards. So I waited for the next documentary, and it was a piece about the Smithsonian Museums in Washington, D.C.  A few shots of the Air and Space Museum, airplanes, satellites, spaceships, with running commentary in Maltese. All very well, but the background music... I knew it from somewhere... wait, wait, it was... the theme from SCHINDLER'S LIST!

WHO edited this?? WHO is sitting in his or her high-tech editing room in the offices of Television Malta, and thinks, "a museum about airplanes and spaceships, so the perfect music would be from a movie about people escaping death in a concentration camp!"

So I turned to the quiz shows, which I really enjoy. I have a head for useless trivia and I usually do very well with these shows. I was able to follow and answer, with the questions being in Maltese! Naturally I missed the questions about Maltese history/culture, but I excuse myself for those. I think I should go on one of these shows. Some of the people participating had no idea of what I consider simple questions. What is the only country that borders Portugal? Andorra is located in which continent? Okay, so I am a geography dork, but considering these countries are very nearby, come on people!

I hope I do not get blog-yelled at for this post. I hope my Maltese readers take it as consrtructive criticism :)

I am going to cheat little bit today. Jessica Moritz, a fellow new arrival in Malta, has written a great piece on the use of language in Malta. It covers some points that I missed in my own posting, and it really gives a good description of some of the quirks of language on the island. Check it out at http://gossip-from-malta.blogspot.com/2006/11/revelation-about-maltese-language.html

While on the topic of language, I took further baby steps last night. M and I went out for dinner, and the waitress spoke to us in Maltese the whole evening, even though we were conversing in English amongst ourselves. She was very polite (must have been about 18) and once again I was happy that she gave me the opportunity to practice. Mostly I gave very short replies to her statements, but it counts!

In other Maltese news, it appears that we are on track for adopting the euro on January 1, 2008. How exciting! There is some fear that merchants will take this opportunity to raise prices surreptitiously. Well, yesterday I went to the hardware store and found that they are already complying with the dual display of pricing, showing the prices in both Maltese liri and euros. However, I did the math on the handy calculator that is built-in to my mobile, and discovered that the euro price was 2 euro cents too high. This is a very tiny amount, but I realised what people have been going on about. I hope they were just rounding up such a small number, and that this does not mean all prices will be rising. I am pro-euro and the last thing we need is more excuses for people to complain about it.

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend in this fine autumn/spring day, whichever applies to you!

A fact of life in Malta: the humidity.

Sometimes a towel will not be dry even 24 hours after using it. We have to change the hand towel in the bathroom almost every day. Even the poor tumble-dryer takes as long as two hours to dry a load of wet clothes. A knife that I have had for over ten years and still looked new has begun to rust in the couple of months since I arrived here.

Our shower has a little leak, so a towel must be placed on the floor in front of it to soak up the water. Every day I put this towel out in the balcony, hoping that it dries by the next day. As it gets colder, I might have to find a new system.

And it is getting colder. Not terribly, but slowly we are getting there. Currently it is a very pleasant mid-season, not cold nor hot. But it is no longer shorts weather. The temperature is on the verge of short and long sleeves during the day, and definitely long sleeves after dark. The flat is getting quite chilly, in fact it is colder inside than outside right now, so that I can no longer wear shorts and a t-shirt while going around the house. The humidity affects that too. If you have never experienced humid cold, it is quite uncomfortable. In dry cold you can wear layers and stay warm. In humid cold, it seems to permeate your bones. I hear all sorts of warnings about this in the upcoming winter, and I am not looking forward to that aspect. I spent my childhood in such a humid cold city, but the temperatures did not get as cold as here, so I am bracing myself.

On a positive note, it is still pleasantly warm when the sun comes out. I hope this keeps up. I am told it can be nice all the way to December.