The Virgin Mary on Loan
Just about every day, the doorbell rings. Several times it has been neighbours claiming they forgot the key. I really did not know what to do. The good side of me wants to believe them, and the suspicious side in me does not. So I began to ignore the bell. I figured, what if there was nobody here in the middle of the day? Soon, when I (hopefully) get a job, there will be nobody to answer the door anyway. So I stopped answering. Next thing I knew, there was a note from the mailman saying there was a package for me but nobody had opened the door. I just cannot win! So I started answering again.
But it just never stops. Once it was an old lady saying that someone needed to check the electricity meter in the garage. (Again, do they expect somebody to be home in the middle of a weekeday morning?) Another time it was the gas man (we do not even have anything that uses gas). Then more people forgetting their keys. I really want to start ignoring the bell again, but now I am once more expecting a package in the mail so I have to catch the mailman when he comes. If he misses me twice, I have to go to a central post office which will be a bit of a pain to get to.
And so yesterday around 5:00pm, the bell rang again. It is the same bell for both the intercom and the front door, so as always I lifted the receiver… but heard nothing. Uh-oh, this means somebody is actually at the door of the flat! I opened up and see two old ladies, about a head shorter than me (and I am not exactly tall) holding a statue of the Virgin Mary. Oh boy, how will I get out of this one! The old lady on the left rattled off in Maltese. Once again I woud like to point out that I am now able to read Maltese newspaper articles with little problem, but when people speak to me unannounced, I just cannot always follow. (Thank you Patricia for all your comments regarding language learning, and I can attest to the fact that reading and listening are two entirely different learning areas). So I put on a big puzzled expression and I hoped this would be enough. But gosh darn it for bilingualism, the other lady stopped her and said “wait, maybe he is a foreigner… are you a foreigner?”
They went on to explain that they are from some organisation, whose name now escapes me, and they go around with the statue of “the Madonna” and loan it to people. Before I could open my mouth she said that even people who do not share their religion sometimes take her in. Then she stopped me again and said that the family that was supposed to take it today is not home, so “the Madonna” was available for me.
Wow, these ladies should be in sales. I was almost expecting her to say something like “Wait, there’s more, act now and you get a complementary Baby Jesus!”
I really did not have the heart to be rude to these two diminutive old ladies. I felt bad that they were even carrying this heavy statue around. I was about to inform her that I am not a Christian and have a nice day, but, as if reading my mind, the one holding the statue asked if there was maybe a Maltese person living here who might be interested in hosting the statue. They were quite sweet, I did not know what to say. So I said I really did not know if HE would be interested. They were a bit surprised. Then they asked if maybe he would be here next Monday at the same time. JESUS (no pun intended), how was I going to get rid of them? As if in a film, I was saved by the ringing phone. I pointed out that it was ringing and that I had to go. As I closed the door, they said to tell my Maltese friend that they are from the society of… and I was polite and shut the door as I ran to answer. It was my uncle calling from overseas. “You have no idea what you just saved me from…”
M came home soon after and he found it hilarious. His reaction was “They are STILL doing that? You should have told them we are an interfaith homosexual couple.” Easier said than done, when two frail, tiny old ladies are at your door. Have I mentioned that the next door neighbours are Muslim? I wish I had a camera in the hallway…
